My moods are very cyclical these days. Wave 1=panic and confusion coupled with depression and fundamentally questioning what I’m doing with my life. Wave 2= rationalization, being practical and reasoning with myself. Currently, I’m riding the crest of the former. Sometimes I wish I had gone to a liberal arts school. I find it sad that the only exposure I have to literature and writing in my entire undergraduate career will be a lonely, pathetic writing seminar my freshman year. Also, there are so many courses (non-introductory) in so many disciplines that I want to take but know that I will never be able to explore properly if I want to graduate on time. Isn’t college supposed to be about the tired cliche of “finding yourself”? Naivety, I know. I’m currently complaining about having to study for a stat final but secretly I’m happy that at least its not ANOTHER nursing class. It’s different and honestly, quite refreshing to turn another part of my brain on and to take a class with different people that I don’t see every bloody class. We’ll have to wait to see how I do on the final, but I’m considering taking 112. It’ll bring me up to 7 credits next semester and I don’t know if I can handle that on top of work. I also have an advanced photo class lined up that I’m super stoked on but I’ll probably end up having to choose between that and stat. (More than one elective course-OH NO, that’s WAY too much freedom!) Anyways, I guess I knew when applying but I didn’t really know just how rigid and structured a pre-professional school like Penn and especially a nursing program is. EVERYTHING is about practicality and preparation. This model is beneficial to my future in so many ways but it’s making my ”now” feel bland and unfulfilled. I’ve been trying to find a way to make my academic time here my own. When my genius HSOC double major plan fell through (the workload was debilitating and 5 years to graduate was a deal breaker) I’ve been running what seems like a million and one other options through my head which all frustratingly seem to end in a brick wall of time constraint. I just don’t know. I need a change of scenery. London?
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fightingawinningbattle said:
you will figure it out I trust you will. No matter what happens, you will do amazing, as always :)
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yesterdayjuice posted this
